Nintendic » Genuine Wii accident or just stupid Wii usage? You be the judge

Genuine Wii accident or just stupid Wii usage? You be the judge

Posted in General, Wii by Andrew Johnson on December 12th, 2006 at 4:31

There’s something amusing about Wii Have a Problem.com. For those that haven’t been keeping up, it’s a site dedicated to reporting ~~stupid~~ unfortunate Wiimote usage. The latest “accident” is a bit too peculiar to be true. Nintendic’s bullshit meter is on the case!

Meet the latest Wii victim.

Jim, the perpetrator behind the “accident,” wrote the following story:

“The day our Wii arrived also happened to be when my work was holding our Christmas party. Not being one to forego free booze, off I went leaving the girlie to play to her hearts content.

After guzzling a copious amount of ‘wife beater’ (Stella Artois) - I returned home to find the girlie in mid battle with a Zelda ‘Boss’. In my inebriated state, it was instinctual to become her knight in shining armour. I proceeded to take the controllers off her and fight the beast myself.

Unfortunately, my courage was far greater then my skill. Having taken a good kicking, Liz then tried to intervene with disastrous results. She approached me from the side, appearing from my blind spot, whilst I was performing a slashing movement. I hit her with full force right in her eye!

I truly thought I’d blinded her and was almost about to call an abulance but then her pain died down. You can see the results of the accident in the attached photo…

I’m lucky that Liz is a good sport, but it did cost me, Liz has first dibs on the Wii… a small price to pay - I guess -Jim”

Now forgive me for being a bit blunt, but I call bullshit on this story or just plain damn stupidity on the original user’s part for a variety of reasons:

The timing of the Wii’s arrival is just a bit too convenient. It just happens to arrive on the day of Jim’s Christmas party? Right, and monkeys fly out of my ass on a regular basis. Hi, monkeys!

The beer he drinks just happens to share a synonymous nickname with what happens to his “girlie.” (more on that in a minute.)

In an acknowledged inebriated state, he decides his girlfriend/what-have-you is incapable of fending off the boss herself and intervenes, because surely his video gaming skills are better than hers, even while in an inebriated state.

In the aforementioned inebriated state, he makes slashing motions and ends up clocking the girl right in the eye. He really has no one to blame but himself. Repeat after me, folks: alcohol and Zelda don’t mix (now alcohol and Wii Sports, on the other hand…).

Jim asks Liz to pose for a photo of his accomplishment (”Hey honey, let me show the world my stupidity! C’mon, it’ll be funny!”) and she readily agrees (”Okay, but I get first dibs on the Wii from now on!”). Maybe they deserve each other after all.

His closing statements sound as if he is more concerned over his Wii privileges than his girlfriend’s health.

Is it me, or does this picture look a little Photoshopped?

Apparently hazardous to your health.

C’mon folks, using the Wii doesn’t take a lot of grand, sweeping gestures. Stop trying to show off to your friends and trying to get into your significant other’s pants and just play like you normally would if you were playing alone. The Wii is a fun system and we here at Nintendic want everyone to play safely. It’s great that everyone’s excited about the console and wants to show it off to their friends, but please, use some common sense.

Have you ever had any bad Wii experiences happen to you or your friends and loved ones? Or are you just as mystified as I am when it comes to these Wiicidents?

Thanks, Koncreat